I am not one to look back at my past, but today while looking at pictures of my first two bodybuilding competitions. It dawned on me that I was a skinny bitch! What was I thinking?!
I should have never thought about competing!
I should have stayed in the gym!
I should have squatted more!
I should have ate 50 grams of protein instead of 30 grams post-workout!
I should have gently massaged my calves in between sets to increase blood flow and get more gainz!
As you can see that is a lot of should have. Maybe I should have done more what I listed above, maybe I should have even more. I should have, I should have. For 6 years those words went through my brain, everyday. I would look at my trophy and call myself a failure sometimes. For those 6 years I messed myself up big time both mentally and physically (will focus more in a later article).
Mentally, I had an unhealthy relationship with food. Consuming so much I ended up at a weight of 265-270 pounds of unhealthy weight. My body fat was high, my hormones were messed up, I was depressed. I was a mess!
Physically I was strong, but not really. My joints hurt, really my whole body was hurting. The Michelin Man was more jacked than me. I was letting my physique go day by day. My training had no purpose, always stagnate. Slowly I was losing everything that I worked for. It did not help my mentality.
Those 6 years I learned the very hard way. Nothing lasts forever, especially if you stop working at it.
I am happy to say that I have pushed myself out of that slump. I am living now!
I am at a job that I dreamed about when I was in high school, my co-workers are beyond supportive, my clients treat me like family. This past year and a half has helped me become a better person. I have a better understanding of nutrition now more than I ever did. I have put a lot of focus in that department of my job that I will be completing my Precision Nutrition Certification soon!
Physically, I look and feel better. Am I competition ready? No, but that is fine because I am healthy. My health has become very important to me and I like to live to teach what I know for a very long time. Being where I am at has paid off for me and my clients and that is awesome!
I lived and I learned, I am not done yet though. To become better and achieve my goals my life focus is to live more and learn more.
This post was a personal one, one that will allow you to understand what I have done, what I am to do, the real John Bedel. These will be few but there will be more in the future.
The goal of this journal is to record my workouts along with my thoughts on nutrition, training, mindset for a physique competitor.
I will be competing this year. My training had started in November. Tomorrow I will talk to you about my training split, why I am doing it, and so forth.
I will leave you with this quote, “Don't allow your mind to tell your heart what to do. The mind gives up easily”. Paulo Coelho